marriage Archives - Colin Dye

GODâ€™S LOVE UNCONDITIONAL OR CONDITIONAL – PART 6

Colin Dye — Fri, 14 Apr 2023 16:30:00 +0000

â€™Till death us do part

Godâ€™s covenant love means he is totally committed to his people. As with any agreement there are promises made, conditions to fulfil and consequences if these are not met.

â€˜Covenantâ€™ is a slightly old-fashioned word, but is still widely used today.Â Itâ€™s another word for a contract, a legal agreement. For example, two parties agree to supply and pay for certain goods and services. The contract lists the specific benefits and responsibilities for each person included in its terms and conditions.

Marriage, is also a covenant, a formal, public and binding agreement. In biblical terms, marriage is linked to procreation and therefore can only be made between those inherently capable of having children, that is, a biological man and a biological woman (with the presumption that both will fully identify with their biological sex). Circumstances such as age, infertility or other conditions that preclude a heterosexual married couple from having children does not negate the basic binary nature of biological sex. The point is that Christian marriage upholds these categories which inherently include the capacity to be fruitful and multiply.

In many nations, the civic definition of marriage has recently been changed to include people of the same sex. The principal reason given for this change is to provide equality under the (secular) law for LGBTQi+ people. Christian believers consider marriage to be a sacred bond as revealed in the Bible. Wider society does not share this perspective, however, secular marriage remains legally binding.

The sanctity of biblical marriage is held in extremely high esteem. This is due to the parallels between Godâ€™s relationship with his people and the marriage between a man and a woman. Marriage is a picture (some would argue a sacramental picture) of the gender specific relationship between a man and a woman in marriage. Our relationship with God is also defined in gender specific terms, a male Groom who is Christ and a female Bride incorporating all Godâ€™s covenant people.

Earthly marriage is â€™till death us do part, whereas Godâ€™s covenant with his people endures after death when the divine-human relationship will be consummated.Â

The terms of this covenant are clear. God takes the initiative and confers his covenant love upon us, pledging himself in divine faithfulness. Believing loyalty is our response to Godâ€™s covenant love as we, in turn, pledge to remain faithful to him. He loves us eternally and remains forever faithful. But we must also be faithful to him. This conditional element really matters to God and he holds us responsible for keeping our pledge.Â

So, we see that Godâ€™s covenant love is conditional. Not in absolute terms, because God will never leave or forsake us. But the degree to which we enjoy his covenant love and blessing does depend on our continued believing loyalty to him.

This is linked to Godâ€™s rewarding love which is the subject of the next and final blog in this series.

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Honouring God?s Gift of Singleness

Colin Dye — Fri, 08 Jun 2012 14:12:13 +0000

One charismatic gift that is not often talked about and still less sought after today, is the gift of singleness. Yet it is a precious gift from God which is given to some, for whom singleness and celibacy is a life calling. When we talk about the charismatic gifts, most of us think of tongues or miracles, but singleness is a gift of the Spirit too ? it?s not a curse!

Very often in our culture, singleness is looked down upon. Because of pressures generated by society and even the church, a single person can find themselves spending all their time wishing they weren?t single; thinking that singleness is ?bad?; that there is no value in it; and that it is something that has to be tolerated until they find a partner.?

Clearly there are certain individuals that God calls to a life of singleness in order to fulfil a specific purpose which He has for them. Such individuals can readily respond to that call and God blesses them with the gift of singleness and celibacy. For most people, marriage will be the norm, but all of us, at one time or another will live single lives. It may be for a short period only, or it may be for a long time, but during that season we too will need the supernatural gift of singleness from God to go forward.
This means that all of us while we are single, can learn to draw on the power of God?s gift, even if we are not called to be single for lifelong service. We need to redeem our single years and not despise them as a period of unfruitfulness whilst we are ?waiting to get married?.
Very often in our culture, singleness is looked down upon. Because of pressures generated by society and even the church, a single person can find themselves spending all their time wishing they weren?t single; thinking that singleness is ?bad?; that there is no value in it; and that it is something that has to be tolerated until they find a partner. That it the wrong way to view your singleness, whether it turns out to be temporary or permanent ? not least because there are special blessings that God gives to the single that aren?t available when you are married.
Jesus made an interesting observation about singleness in a conversation with His disciples. The disciples were responding to Jesus after He had spoken about the binding nature of marriage. Jesus said that divorce was not a part of God?s plan for His people; it must not happen. Since He taught that marriage was so sacred and binding, the disciples responded,
?If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.? (Matthew 19:10)
But Jesus corrected His disciples and in doing so spoke of the fact that there is a special call to a life of celibacy. He said to them,
“All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.” (Matthew 19:11-12)
Jesus explained that there were three types of ?eunuchs? ? i.e. those who would never marry. The first category of person included those who were born physically incapable of having relations with a woman, and who therefore would not marry in Jesus? culture. The second category of person included those who were ?made eunuchs by men? as Jesus put it. In many of the palaces of the ancient world the servants would be eunuchs ? especially those who served in the wives? quarters, because they could be trusted. This is where the name originated, ?eunuch? being formed from the Greek words eune meaning ?bed? and ekhein meaning ?to keep? ? literally ?bed-keeper?.
But Jesus says that there is a third type of ?eunuch? ? those who make themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Of course, this doesn?t mean that these people have had themselves castrated in order to make themselves physical eunuchs. Rather, Jesus is saying there are those who, for the greater service of thekingdom ofGod, have sought and received the gift of celibacy in order to be more effective in, and dedicated to, the task God has given them.
It is important to note here that Jesus does not say that celibacy is the norm. The Bible teaches that marriage is God?s will generally for everyone. We see that from the very beginning of mankind?s existence God commands Adam and Eve to be fruitful and to fill the earth. However, Jesus says that singleness and celibacy is a special gift for those ?? to whom it has been given? (Matthew19:11). Not everyone can accept this, Jesus says, but those who have this call on their lives can accept it and should accept it.
One thing that I want to make clear is this: people who are called to lifelong celibacy will know about it. If that is you, God will have called you to it, and you will have responded. If you are a person who really wants to be married, then don?t think that God is going to call you to live out your worst nightmare ? a life of singleness. The Bible says that, ?He who finds a wife finds a good thing? (Proverbs18:22). If your heart?s desire is to be married, then God won?t call you to a life of singleness. But people who are specifically called to receive the gift of singleness will find total fulfilment in thekingdom ofGod and their relationship with Jesus.
One of the fallacies heard so often today, which I touched upon in a previous chapter, is that single people will not be emotionally fulfilled or satisfied until they are married. That simply is not the case. There are benefits to marriage that you don?t get in singleness, but equally there are benefits to singleness that you don?t get in marriage. Getting married does not equal emotional fulfilment and completion ? it does not work like that. If you are not fulfilled in your singleness, then you never will be in your married life. It is only Jesus who can give you complete emotional fulfilment.

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What is Sexual Sin and Why is it Wrong?

Colin Dye — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 14:01:48 +0000

To really understand sexual sin and why it is wrong and harmful requires us to understand our human sexuality and how it was created and designed by God to function. God?s gift of sex to mankind was one part of His covenantal blessing to us and was created by Him to be the holy of holies of human relationships within the bounds of marriage. That?s how God designed it to be used. Any use of sex outside those boundaries is a perversion of God?s design.

What is Sexual Sin and Why is it Wrong

God made marriage to be a ?covenant? between a man and a woman ? that means a binding agreement. The marriage covenant is also intended to be a ?public? covenant that is open and recognised before society. It?s not an agreement that couples can make five minutes before having sex in an ?I love you, you love me, so it?s alright? kind of way! It is not informal, but highly serious.
Marriage ceremonies have taken place in many different shapes and forms throughout history. It hasn?t always resulted in a little piece of paper which declares you legally married. But marriage has always been from the beginning, an open declaration to society that this man and this woman are covenanting together.

The sanctity of the marriage covenant

A covenantal agreement is very serious language in God?s vocabulary. He describes His own relationship with us and our relationship with Him as a covenant. Because God has revealed Himself to us in covenant relationship, it indicates that He wants human relationships, especially marriage, to mirror our relationship with Him.

What kind of covenant is marriage? In both Proverbs 2:17and Malachi 2:14 God describes marriage as a covenant of companionship. When you covenant with your husband or your wife in marriage, you are promising to be one another?s companion for life. But this is no ordinary type of companionship. It is not like the companionship between a man and his dog; it is not even like the companionship between a man and his brother, or a father and his son. It is a form of companionship between a man and a woman that goes far beyond such relationships into a place of deep intimacy where two people become effectively ?one person?. Genesis2:24 says that the two, ?become one flesh? and are joined together inseparably. Sexual intimacy is the holy of holies of the expression of that companionship.

Sexual intimacy is the holy of holies of the expression of that companionship.(Rodin-The-Kiss)

Of course, the marriage relationship is not all about sex, but it has sex at its centre, protected by everything else around it. It has parallels with the pattern that God used for the design of the Old Testament tabernacle, which is why I refer to sex as the holy of holies of marriage. The tabernacle was a tent-like cathedral, a house of worship that was prefabricated and could be carried around as the people ofIsraeltravelled through the wilderness. There was an outer court, inner courts, an altar of sacrifice with a basin to wash in, and then there were two separate sections which were hidden from view. One was called ?the holy place? and the other was called ?the most holy place? or the ?holy of holies?. The holy of holies was the most special place of all.
God has given us this relationship of sex as the holy of holies of all our human relationships. When a husband and wife unite with one another in the act of sex, it is to be within the protection, covering and context of covenant, like the protective outer courts of the tabernacle. It is a sacred act which is not to be taken outside that protective covering. If it is taken outside and abused, then it is outside God?s order and becomes a destructive force.
Why is it so destructive? Because as human beings we are made up of spirit, soul and body. When we present ourselves to the Lord as living sacrifices, as Paul instructs us to in Romans 12:1-2, we are giving the whole of ourselves to God, spirit, soul and body. Similarly, when we give ourselves to our husband/wife in the covenant of marriage, we are giving not just our body, but our soul and spirit too. In that act of union we are not accomplishing something merely in the physical realm, but in the spiritual as well.
That?s why the act of sex is so serious. The Bible confirms the fact that we are ?spirit, soul and body? people in 1 Thessalonians 5:23. When two people have sex, it is not just a physical act as the world would like us to believe. Those people are mixing their souls and merging their human spirits. It is not something to be taken lightly. God designed the act of intercourse to be a ?seal? on the covenant of marriage, just as other types of covenant are sealed with blood.

God made marriage to be a ?covenant? between a man and a woman ? that means a binding agreement.

In fact, the nature of the human body shows us that marriage too is a kind of blood covenant. God?s intention is for a man and woman to both be virgins as they come to the marriage bed. As the husband penetrates his wife for the first time there is a separation or tearing of the woman?s hymen which produces a small amount of blood. Even if the hymen is broken or not totally intact due to some activity other than sexual intercourse such as physical exercise, there is usually a small amount of blood produced by the first act of sexual intercourse. It is like a blood seal on the covenant of marriage and is an important reason why you should remain a virgin until then.

See here how you can be set free from sexual sin in six practical steps.

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