Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. James 1.15

1. Make a decision

 
How do you get set free from sexual sin? First of all, as with any form of bondage, you need to make a decision that you want to be free. If you are in sexual bondage then you have to look honestly at what you have become and the damage that your sin is causing. How much of your life are you wasting by fighting sexual ?fevers?? Do you long to be free from the sense of guilt and failure that your sexual sin produces in you?
 
The standard of God?s Word, and what He wants for you, is for there to be ?not even a hint? of sexual immorality in your life. So there is a decision to make and the stronger the decision you make, the easier it will be to get free. Instead of continually fighting off sinful sexual urges which sap your spiritual strength and divert you from your purpose, make a decision to be free and take the steps that follow.
 

2. Receive prayer and deliverance

Receive prayer and deliverance to be set free fom sexual sin in your life

3. Discipline yourself ? learn new habits

 
Habits of the flesh need to be broken and the only way to do that is to discipline yourself to learn new habits. Especially for men, begin with ?bouncing? your eyes away from any sexual image. It really can make a big difference. Normal God-given sexual desire is manageable, because we realise that there is a fire burning on the inside of every man! Whether he?s a believer or an unbeliever, there is a fire there, we are no different! The thing to do is to keep the fire low. Don?t deliberately pour fuel on the fire. If you walk into your office and you see a girl wearing a low-cut blouse, bounce your eyes immediately, because if you don?t, you?ll put fuel on your fire and by lunchtime you?ll by totally distracted! However, you can control normal sexual desires that God has given you if you don?t let them grow out of control. Don?t make life tough for yourself. And ladies: watch your thought patterns. Bring then into line and don?t let your emotions carry you away.
 

4. Engage in discipleship

 
Discipleship is a very important part in the process of getting free and staying free from sexual sin. Put another way, get yourself into mutually accountable relationships with other believers. Everyone needs others around them, regardless of their position or status, because no one is immune ? that they can relate to honestly and pray with. Cell groups or prayer partners can be very beneficial in this regard because in them we can help each other, not as policemen but as fellow soldiers, to overcome our difficulties. If we are serious about the business of sexual purity then we also need to help one another.
 

5. Learn to walk in dignity

 
Sexual freedom is not about doing your own thing sexually ? just whatever you feel like doing ? it is about bringing your sexuality to order, to be harnessed for God?s purposes. That is true sexual freedom, and when you walk in freedom it brings dignity. When your desires are under control, that makes a true man.

Be intimate with God

6. Learn to walk in intimacy

 
Finally, learn to walk in intimacy. One of the biggest effects of sexual sin is that it robs us of dignity and intimacy. I?ve discovered in counselling men in particular who have sexual problems that every one of them speaks of a loss of intimacy. In other words, they have been seeking intimacy in the wrong way. Rather, focus on developing your intimacy with God so that when the time is right and it is time to ?awaken love? (see Song of Solomon 2:7) you will be glad that you disciplined and prepared yourself to be a real blessing and a gift to your partner in marriage.
 

Read also 😕What is Sexual Sin and Why is it Wrong?

The post 6 steps to Freedom from Sexual Sin appeared first on Colin Dye.

God, Sex and Relationships. Staying Pure in a Sex-Charged World.

Colin you have written a ?book called “Staying Pure in a Sex-Charged World. Could you explain the title to us?

Colin: I want to help believers deal with the whole issue of sexuality particularly in today’s society when there is so much emphasis on sex and it is not always given its right biblical context. Have a look at billboards and TV advertisements, films, even sex education in schools. These things put many people under pressure in this area. I want to help Christians come to terms with this and identify how they can live with their sexuality in a way that honours God.

There are already a number of books within the Christian market about sex and relationships. Why write another one and what is, perhaps, different about this book?

Colin: In many ways this book complements a lot of other stuff that has been written. I have read quite a few of these books. Some of them have great stories and testimonies and a lot of practical stuff and teaching. This new book presents clear biblical teaching in a simple way and also covers many areas that I find are not always well covered in other books. An example is the emphasis on singleness and the Bible teaching on homosexuality.

You mention friendship within the same sex. Could you just briefly outline the Bible view on this subject?

Colin: This is a very big subject. I find that there seems to be two kinds of viewpoints, even amongst Christians. There is the legalistic approach, which is very moralistic with a heavy emphasis on the scriptures, which seems to condemn all forms of homosexuality out of hand. Then on the other hand there is the more liberal emphasis where people seem to suggest that it does not matter – homosexuality is as acceptable as heterosexuality. I actually think that the Bible is midway between these two viewpoints. First of all, the Scriptures honour friendship within the same gender and hold them in high esteem. In my book I mention Ruth and Naomi, and David and Jonathan. There is a particular place in God’s heart for strong and intimate covenant relationships between members of the same sex. However, it is my view that the Bible falls short of allowing these relationships to enter into an explicitly sexual area. I think that the display of affection and love between members of the same sex can have a real context in the plan of God. However, the Bible seems to steer us away from taking such relationships further into sexual acts.

How would you advise a Christian struggling with homosexual issue in terms of what you have said about sexuality?

Colin: I go into this in detail in the book and there are a number of things to bear in mind. You are not defined by your sexual orientation. You are much more than a sexual being. It is not necessary to define yourself by your sexuality. The second thing is to look at the need beneath the surface that sex in itself, in all its forms, cannot really fulfil. Many people struggling with heterosexual or homosexual sin have needs that they are trying to meet through sex and sex isn’t designed for that. `My advice is find people who are non-judgemental and able to keep confidences and work with them so that they can help you to honour God throughout your sexual experience.

It is interesting that the media, generally, portrays Christianity as anti-sex. What would be your take on this?

Colin: I think that is one of the most important emphases that I put into the book. Christians, particularly evangelical Christians, are portrayed as being anti-sex and that is not the case. God is not anti-sex; he invented it. He made the human bodies and gave us the rules and parameters by which sexual experience can flourish and the context, which is the covenantal relationship between man and woman in marriage. Often, it is this that is ridiculed and pilloried by the press, many of whom are products of the 1960s’ so-called sexual revolution. You only have to look around our society today, to see the devastation that sex out of context has produced. So, the agenda of this book is to encourage believers and indeed non-believers, if they would read it, to re-examine what God has to say about sex.

You mention non-believers. Who is your target audience? Is it Christians, singles or young people?

Colin: My target audience is believers who are concerned about how to honour God with their sexuality. I hope to encourage people who may be struggling in certain areas to come and find a non-judgemental, non-condemning book that will encourage them to stay pure in the midst of a very challenging environment.

Do you think that this a message that can be taken to non-Christians and young people in schools, colleges and universities?

Colin: The publishers are hoping to promote this through the secular press and I am sure that it can gain a hearing there, at least, as an example of what Christians really do think about God’s gift of sexuality. I think that many people in the wider world consider themselves to be Christians; 72% of the population of the UK calls themselves Christians. And I think that these people will be impressed by the non-judgemental, common sense approach to this subject matter. Also, there is a lot of research that shows that God’s way is the best way of living in families and bringing up children. The sexual experiment has failed. There is a strong statement from Anne Widdecombe, the Conservative MP (in this book) that shows that many people, from a political point of view, are concerned about the social trends of today and want a real alternative to the free-for-all, anything-goes philosophy of the modern generation.

One of the things that you outline in the book is the spiritual dimension to sexuality. You mention soul ties. What are soul ties and why are they so dangerous?

Colin: Well, a soul tie is any strong emotional attachment to a person, a place, a situation or a memory. Its relevance in sex is that if you have sex with somebody, you are not just joining your body to another person; rather you can almost speak about a soul-attachment – an intermingling that comes through the sexual contact. The great fallacy of the modern age is to believe that we are just “body beings’. We are not just “body beings’; we are spirit, soul and body beings. What you do with one part of your personality will impinge upon the rest of your personality. And so soul ties can almost have the same force as demonic bondage and people need to be set free from an emotional/spiritual bondage that can come through sex.

What would be your advice to people who recognise their need to be set free from such bondage?

Colin: First, you need to confess the sin that you have been involved in, renounce all contact and association with the person involved, get rid of any kind of link with him/her, whether it is physical gifts or objects. Then come before God and ask him for his freedom and deliverance. If possible, it is sometimes better to receive ministry in this particular area and in my book Living Free! , I show how people can do this and experience freedom from soul ties.

Finally, Colin, what do you have to say to our readers who are single? Do you have any advise for them?

Colin: There is a chapter dedicated to single people and my advice to people who are single is make the most of God’s gift of singleness for as long as you remain single. Don’t think of it as bondage or a problem. Rather, think of it as a gift from God because there is so much that you can do and achieve for God while you are single. You grow as an individual and prepare yourself and your character for the Lord in preparation for marriage. The gift of singleness is a tremendous gift.

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Breaking the chains of debt

Have you been overtaken by debt and now find yourself in financial bondage? Whether you are in debt because of your carelessness or due to circumstances that were beyond your control, God is a God of mercy and grace and he will help you because he is in the business of debt destruction.

The bondage of debt

People enter into debt too quickly. It seems that our society is run by debt. For example the majority take out mortgages in order to buy their homes without considering that there might be an alternative. There are stories of 19 years-olds with debts up to three times their annual income. In the last year, debt increased by 75% due to Individual Voluntary Arrangements (IVA).

The national debt is a staggering ?456 billion, equivalent to a debt of ?9,500 for every adult in the population. Personal debts amounts to ?1.2trillion and one fifth of this is unsecured borrowing. That is ?24,000 for every adult on top of the ?9,500 owed from the national debt. Babies are born into the world owing ?19,000. Add to all this the fact that many people are living below the poverty line, struggling to make ends meet by visiting loan sharks, yet still sinking deeper and deeper into debt. Debt is bondage.

Bad borrowing is a tool that the devil uses to spring poverty traps on people. Many borrow and pay for goods and services on credit without adequate thought of how to repay. Another snare is overspending. What drives us to overspend? Sometimes it’s the lure of the good life. We strive for a lifestyle that promises us health, wealth and happiness.

A lesson from Scripture

In 2 Kings 4, the widow of a member of a group of prophets came to Elisha for help. “My husband who served you is dead, and you know how he feared the Lord. But now a creditor has come, threatening to take my two sons as slaves.” The widow’s debt had led to bondage. Her debt was a “no-fault’ debt. She and her family were doing everything right. However, her husband died and she found herself in a poverty trap.

What did the prophet’s wife do?

The prophet’s widow took the matter to God. She was not just being spiritual or religious. Rather, she understood the difference that God could make. Lining up with God is the very thing that will stop us from getting into financial trouble in the first place. When we walk with God, financially, we are better off. In crying out to Elisha, the widow was seeking a word from the Lord and the results that would come from the word. This woman also had something with which she could back up her appeal and that was the fact that she and her family served, honoured and feared the Lord. This was a powerful argument that he brought to Elisha. She could have pleaded for God’s mercy and that would have been enough. However, it matters to God that we serve him.When we take care of his house or family, he will take care of ours.

A supernatural solution

There were two principles at work here. First, you must be prepared to do what you can do. Secondly, you must believe that God will do what only he can do. The prophet asked the widow what she had in her house. She said all she has was a small quantity of oil. He asked her to bring it and put it in the house of God. When you yield the little that you have to the Lord, in obedience, and do what he asks you to do, then the principle of multiplication will kick in.

The widow, willingly, yielded the little she had and put it into the hands of God. The prophet then told her to bring as many empty jars as she could find. She took the oil and poured it out till the jars were full and there were no empty ones left. Then Elisha told the widow to sell the oil and use the proceeds to settle her debts. This was supernatural provision for debt payment. In the end the widow not only had her debts paid, but she also had her on-going need for income taken care of. “Sell the oil, pay the debt and live on the rest.” God will take care of you for the rest of your life if you are willing believe in him and act on what he says.

You can also experience God’s provision through giving in tithes and offering and forgiving. Luke 6:37-38 shows the principles involved. “…Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be poured into your lap. For with the measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” This is how giving is the basis of receiving.

You can activate God’s principles of kingdom economics so that you can live a supernatural lifestyle of divine supply. God will break into your debts, destroy or reduce them and pour the blessings that you need into your life.

Walking with God and better off

On 4th January 2006, the Times ran a headline: Evangelicals demonstrate faith with a cheque book. This is what the report said, “They (Evangelicals) give nine times more money to charity than the average person in Great Britain. They give 12% of their net income; even more generous than the Americans who give 10%.” The survey also found that Evangelicals, in Britain, have times that average level of household savings and a tiny three fraction of the debt and many had no debts at all.

The reporters went on to say that it shows that the Evangelicals took the words of Billy Graham seriously, “A chequebook is a theological document. It shows how and what you worship”. Evangelical churches are also the fastest growing segment of the church in Britain. The report also said other churches have wondered how the evangelical churches generated such large cash flows. The answer it suggested was that the evangelical pastors teach the biblical injunction to tithe. Also mentioned was that the protestant work ethics embraced by Evangelicals means that they are often high earners earning 17.5% more than the national average.

God will bless you and prosper and keep you if you walk with him. We have a winning formula!

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