Purity Archives - Colin Dye

How to keep pure

Colin Dye — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 08:58:05 +0000

With all the emotional ups and downs of life and the pressure we face in modern society, how then does one keep pure and walk in emotional and sexual freedom? There are a number of common sense things you can do that will help:

Firstly, you can help yourself by not reading many of today?s popular magazines that are a flimsy excuse for pornography. The current trend for mass market ?lifestyle? magazines is to have articles on sex from beginning to end ? the ?top ten tips for a better sex life? etc. Such features are an excuse to display many explicit pictures, along with no-holds barred write ups that go into great detail.

The cover of cosmopolitan-october-2011- The current trend for mass market ?lifestyle? magazines is to have articles on sex from beginning to end ? the ?top ten tips for a better sex life?

Secondly, you can help yourself by not watching movies that also are nothing more than glorified pornography and which underwrite and ?approve? of casual sexual relationships. If you do watch such movies or TV programs then all that will happen is your sex drive will be stimulated and you will begin to focus more on more about how you might go about satisfying those urges.
Thirdly, in Ephesians 4:22-23 Paul tells us that when we become new creatures in Christ we must ?put off? our old life and the lifestyle that accompanied it and follow Christ completely. Of course that means receiving wholeness and healing in Christ, but it also means we must be vigilant about our lifestyle generally, to ensure that we don?t slip into bad habits which are alien to our new life in Christ.
Fourthly, don?t try to fill emotional voids in your life with anything other than God. The topic of this book is sexuality, so I have focused on that area, but there are many other things that people use to try to ?heal? themselves emotionally, instead of allowing Jesus to do it. It could be money, power, success, ambition. Whatever we focus on, other than God, to bring fulfilment pushes God into second place. The thing that is driving us, whatever it may be, becomes an idol in our life and eventually will take us over completely. Jesus must be at the centre of your life as Lord and Saviour. If He?s not, then you are living in disobedience to God. Partial obedience is no obedience at all.
Many have made their relationship with another person their idol. It has become of paramount importance in their life, rather than God. As soon as we find someone who eases our loneliness and emptiness, we become addicted to it. Suddenly we ?can?t live without them? and we talk about them all day long. Yes, it can be a beautiful, pure, love relationship as God intended ? but very often it isn?t. It?s trying to have your needs met in the wrong way. If the relationship doesn?t work out, then you will end up being wounded.

Don't carry heavy luggage...

If you are a person who is living with guilt from the past, maybe because you?ve had a string of relationships, or have been trapped in some kind of sexual sin, I want to tell you that you don?t have to continue carrying that guilt. Jesus loves you, He died for you, and He has forgiveness for you if you will just come to Him and release the burden into His hands.
If, after praying, you still feel the pain and are troubled, then you may need to seek some assistance through counselling, but God will make you whole if you desire it. God will heal every wound if you let Him touch every area of your life.
We carry around a lot of baggage with us because we are often not prepared to trust God with every part of our lives. If we don?t trust Him totally, then we will be inclined to snatch certain areas of our life back from Him ? just in case we don?t like how He handles them. Jesus wants to heal you, but you have to give Him permission to do so. The blood of Jesus can cleanse you from any area of impurity, and set you free from any area you are struggling with. Find a quiet place today, and release to Him all those hurts of the past and the things you have done that you are ashamed of, and His mercy and grace will touch your life and bring healing.

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Sexual freedom or sexual bondage?

Colin Dye — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 09:11:44 +0000

Does freedom mean I can do what I want? What about sexual sin?

To some, ?freedom from sexual bondage? might seem a strange combination of words. Most people in our post-modern society are crying freedom from rules and regulations. Surely freedom means that you can do what you want, doesn?t it? Such people would no doubt regard God?s rules for living as ?bondage?, and indeed biblical principles are often mocked by society. But I want to promote the truth that in fact, God?s rules are liberating.

By way of illustration, picture this scene: a high speed train is hurtling along its tracks towards its destination. Now imagine the same train leaping off its tracks, crying freedom and running across open fields, completely out of control. Which of these scenarios is a true picture of freedom? The train running smoothly along its tracks as it was designed to, or the train hurtling out of control, throwing passengers out, killing and destroying right across the field? If a train leaps its tracks, it?s not free ? it?s dangerous.

To use another illustration, imagine you go out to a concert one evening to hear a solo pianist perform. You are expecting to hear some relaxing classical music or perhaps some jazz, but the pianist announces that he is a ?free? musician and is going to play some of his own compositions. Being a ?free? musician means that he doesn?t believe in or follow any of the conventional rules of music ? he just plays a random, discordant and unrelated series of notes and chords. How many of us could listen to that for any length of time? Maybe you would you like to go to such a concert ? but that?s just the novelty element!

A train off-track, picture of real freedom?

The fact is, all good music is expressed within the framework of a set of rules which are interpreted in various creative ways. Even a genre such as jazz, which many consider to be very ?free? in its expression, has certain rules that govern it. A jazz pianist will drop the root note of his chords and ?colour? them by sharpening or flattening notes in the middle ? to put it roughly! But he is still moving within predefined boundaries to express subtle nuances of sound.

In both these examples there are principles at work that, when followed, produce something orderly, beautiful and lovely. That is what I commend to you about God?s ways for human sexuality. God?s ways are truly liberating and as we abide by them, we are blessed. In Romans 12:1-2 the apostle Paul instructs us to surrender our bodies to God according to His will so we will ?prove? that God?s way is best:
?I beseech you therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.?

Bound by sexual sin

This passage raises some important principles. First of all, God says, ?I want you to present your bodies to me.? In the twenty-first century we are more aware of our bodies than ever before. The mass media has actively promoted a ?body awareness? that has often been taken to excess with the likes of plastic surgery and ?extreme makeovers?. But Paul insists that our bodies should be surrendered to God.
When Paul wrote these words, he was not thinking just of the physical body, but of bringing your whole being ? body, soul (emotions, personality) and spirit ? in surrender to God?s purposes. But obeying God does have a lot to do with physical obedience.
Scripture has a lot to say about the body ? it is given by God; made by God; endowed with a range of desires that need to be fed in order for it to function at an optimum level ? including normal, healthy sexual desires. But God says, ?Don?t treat your bodies like the world treats theirs. Bring what I have given you back to me and place it on my altar, because by so doing you will not be conformed to this world and you will be blessed.?
Here lies one of the great difficulties that all Christians face and the reason why so many people, Christian or not, are trapped in sexual sin: instead of surrendering their bodies to God and letting them be governed by Him, they are taking their morality from what is happening around them in society. People are watching movies and television programmes and learning values which they believe are values to live by. Yet, God offers us alternative: to not be pressed into the world?s mould of conformity, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.
So what is the renewing of your mind? In essence it is to understand that God?s way is the way that brings liberty, freedom, joy, fullness and happiness. In this regard God goes further than simply saying, ?Trust me, it will work,? He says, ?If you obey me, I?ll prove to you that it works! I?ll prove to you that my way is ?good and acceptable and perfect?.?

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God, Sex & Relationships

Colin Dye — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 08:49:28 +0000

God, Sex and Relationships. Staying Pure in a Sex-Charged World.

Colin you have written a ?book called “Staying Pure in a Sex-Charged World. Could you explain the title to us?

Colin: I want to help believers deal with the whole issue of sexuality particularly in today’s society when there is so much emphasis on sex and it is not always given its right biblical context. Have a look at billboards and TV advertisements, films, even sex education in schools. These things put many people under pressure in this area. I want to help Christians come to terms with this and identify how they can live with their sexuality in a way that honours God.

There are already a number of books within the Christian market about sex and relationships. Why write another one and what is, perhaps, different about this book?

Colin: In many ways this book complements a lot of other stuff that has been written. I have read quite a few of these books. Some of them have great stories and testimonies and a lot of practical stuff and teaching. This new book presents clear biblical teaching in a simple way and also covers many areas that I find are not always well covered in other books. An example is the emphasis on singleness and the Bible teaching on homosexuality.

You mention friendship within the same sex. Could you just briefly outline the Bible view on this subject?

Colin: This is a very big subject. I find that there seems to be two kinds of viewpoints, even amongst Christians. There is the legalistic approach, which is very moralistic with a heavy emphasis on the scriptures, which seems to condemn all forms of homosexuality out of hand. Then on the other hand there is the more liberal emphasis where people seem to suggest that it does not matter – homosexuality is as acceptable as heterosexuality. I actually think that the Bible is midway between these two viewpoints. First of all, the Scriptures honour friendship within the same gender and hold them in high esteem. In my book I mention Ruth and Naomi, and David and Jonathan. There is a particular place in God’s heart for strong and intimate covenant relationships between members of the same sex. However, it is my view that the Bible falls short of allowing these relationships to enter into an explicitly sexual area. I think that the display of affection and love between members of the same sex can have a real context in the plan of God. However, the Bible seems to steer us away from taking such relationships further into sexual acts.

How would you advise a Christian struggling with homosexual issue in terms of what you have said about sexuality?

Colin: I go into this in detail in the book and there are a number of things to bear in mind. You are not defined by your sexual orientation. You are much more than a sexual being. It is not necessary to define yourself by your sexuality. The second thing is to look at the need beneath the surface that sex in itself, in all its forms, cannot really fulfil. Many people struggling with heterosexual or homosexual sin have needs that they are trying to meet through sex and sex isn’t designed for that. `My advice is find people who are non-judgemental and able to keep confidences and work with them so that they can help you to honour God throughout your sexual experience.

It is interesting that the media, generally, portrays Christianity as anti-sex. What would be your take on this?

Colin: I think that is one of the most important emphases that I put into the book. Christians, particularly evangelical Christians, are portrayed as being anti-sex and that is not the case. God is not anti-sex; he invented it. He made the human bodies and gave us the rules and parameters by which sexual experience can flourish and the context, which is the covenantal relationship between man and woman in marriage. Often, it is this that is ridiculed and pilloried by the press, many of whom are products of the 1960s’ so-called sexual revolution. You only have to look around our society today, to see the devastation that sex out of context has produced. So, the agenda of this book is to encourage believers and indeed non-believers, if they would read it, to re-examine what God has to say about sex.

You mention non-believers. Who is your target audience? Is it Christians, singles or young people?

Colin: My target audience is believers who are concerned about how to honour God with their sexuality. I hope to encourage people who may be struggling in certain areas to come and find a non-judgemental, non-condemning book that will encourage them to stay pure in the midst of a very challenging environment.

Do you think that this a message that can be taken to non-Christians and young people in schools, colleges and universities?

Colin: The publishers are hoping to promote this through the secular press and I am sure that it can gain a hearing there, at least, as an example of what Christians really do think about God’s gift of sexuality. I think that many people in the wider world consider themselves to be Christians; 72% of the population of the UK calls themselves Christians. And I think that these people will be impressed by the non-judgemental, common sense approach to this subject matter. Also, there is a lot of research that shows that God’s way is the best way of living in families and bringing up children. The sexual experiment has failed. There is a strong statement from Anne Widdecombe, the Conservative MP (in this book) that shows that many people, from a political point of view, are concerned about the social trends of today and want a real alternative to the free-for-all, anything-goes philosophy of the modern generation.

One of the things that you outline in the book is the spiritual dimension to sexuality. You mention soul ties. What are soul ties and why are they so dangerous?

Colin: Well, a soul tie is any strong emotional attachment to a person, a place, a situation or a memory. Its relevance in sex is that if you have sex with somebody, you are not just joining your body to another person; rather you can almost speak about a soul-attachment – an intermingling that comes through the sexual contact. The great fallacy of the modern age is to believe that we are just “body beings’. We are not just “body beings’; we are spirit, soul and body beings. What you do with one part of your personality will impinge upon the rest of your personality. And so soul ties can almost have the same force as demonic bondage and people need to be set free from an emotional/spiritual bondage that can come through sex.

What would be your advice to people who recognise their need to be set free from such bondage?

Colin: First, you need to confess the sin that you have been involved in, renounce all contact and association with the person involved, get rid of any kind of link with him/her, whether it is physical gifts or objects. Then come before God and ask him for his freedom and deliverance. If possible, it is sometimes better to receive ministry in this particular area and in my book Living Free! , I show how people can do this and experience freedom from soul ties.

Finally, Colin, what do you have to say to our readers who are single? Do you have any advise for them?

Colin: There is a chapter dedicated to single people and my advice to people who are single is make the most of God’s gift of singleness for as long as you remain single. Don’t think of it as bondage or a problem. Rather, think of it as a gift from God because there is so much that you can do and achieve for God while you are single. You grow as an individual and prepare yourself and your character for the Lord in preparation for marriage. The gift of singleness is a tremendous gift.

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